Cherish the fourth (or fifth or sixth…)

Ah, the days when you are no longer shocked to see those two little pink lines show up!

When you are on your fourth or fifth child (or more, God bless you), you probably feel the initial thrill of finding out you’re pregnant much as you did the first or second time around… “Really?! I can’t believe it!!” But all the subsequent shock and questioning you once had probably doesn’t come. Whereas you once thought, “A second baby? How can I do it when I can’t even figure out the first?!” Now you think something like, “A fifth baby? How will I fit it in our van?” The once turbulent emotions of young motherhood have given way to the quiet and contented happiness of mature motherhood. Congratulations, you’ve made it.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t have any mixed emotions. You might be wondering how many more stretch marks you can add to your body before you need a kimono to step on the beach. You might be afraid how you can gain more weight when you never lost the ten pounds you wanted to after the last one. You might be afraid of how you’re going to pay for another college tuition (or worse, a wedding if it’s a girl!). Or give up your coffee now that you have a teenager. Or any number of things.

I remember being worried with my fourth about supplementing my boys’ wardrobe if we had another boy because most of the clothes had already gone through three lifetimes. And yet I groaned when my friend asked me if I wanted a baby shower. I couldn’t tell if she felt blessed or obligated to throw me one. I hadn’t had one for the third because I felt it would burden people too much (three showers in three years?) And I felt embarrassed to ask for a fourth… who goes to a fourth baby shower for someone? Is that even something people do? I was also worried about how we’d fit at the kitchen table because we didn’t have enough adult chairs for when the child grew up and I didn’t want to buy another one from the furniture store to match!

But the tumult that my first and second baby caused simply wasn’t there. I was a mom, I was experienced, so I was happy. I didn’t have to buy cribs or obsess over what the layette was missing. I didn’t have to worry about what kind of mom I’d be, or if I was able to handle a baby. I felt sure I could handle more diapers, silly socks that get kicked off everywhere, and the annoying scent of spit up milk on my shirt. So when my goofy old neighbor showed up at my door randomly touting the overpopulation crisis, I wasn’t budged. I simply said, “Well, I’m just making up for some couples that aren’t lucky enough to have children. Besides, we recycle!” He didn’t have children so that was food for thought. And I renewed my inner resolve to be more resourceful, so I wasn’t lying.

So the news that you are pregnant may be getting old to some, but that doesn’t mean that the child is any less precious. Not to you, and not to God. And it shouldn’t be for the siblings either. Whereas your husband, other children, parents, in-laws or neighbors might be less joyous about your upcoming arrival, you need to take care and preserve the feeling of preciousness and uniqueness you probably innately carry for that little infant. Don’t let people steal your happiness with the ol’ birth control sass: “The fifth? Don’t you know what causes that type of thing yet?” Whether or not you are ready for the fifth, or planned him/her, just smile and say something serene like, “We know, and we’re so thankful to have this one. I’ve always wanted five.” This usually silences people and they may even look thoughtful after that. Every now and then I’d get a really humbled person who would say something like, “Wow. That’s really amazing. I could have never done that.” It was nice—I think that was their way of offering the olive branch.

You have probably had similar encounters by now if you’ve broken the Two or Three Rule. You should have seen the looks I got when I got big with my fourth pregnancy and I was still touting around three small toddlers (3, 2, and 1)! It simply isn’t fashionable to have more than two children or three at the most in our nation. We are worried about finances, the environment, the psychological health, the opportunities we can give each little individual that comes along. And that is fine. I am not saying we all need to toss our contraception out the window. But it seems to me that just plain FEAR is holding a lot of people in bondage about childbearing. We are so worried that having more than two children is bad for ourselves, bad for our wallets, bad for the nation, the environment, the world… it goes on and on. If that is the case, then I encourage you to get rid of and resist fear. There is no reason to let others pass that along to you just because you have found out you’re pregnant… for the sixth time. Guard your heart carefully, as if your little infant could actually hear what was being said about them, and cultivate whatever precious moments you can about them—whether it is shopping for some new booties, starting an album with their ultrasound in it, or just folding the much-laundered hand-me-downs in nice little rows in the dresser. Go to the spa, get a new mothering book, learn some new recipes, or work a little harder at your job—whatever picks you up and makes you feel good about your mothering.

And don’t let your health go or take your pregnancy for granted just because you’ve been through it three times already. That is such a temptation—you want to keep up the coffee because you need it, indulge in the ice cream because you’re emotionally taxed, and forget any time to yourself because it’s not practical. But the pregnancy with your fourth baby is not worth any less than your pregnancy with the first. It is a new life in there that needs all the nurture everyone else got… perhaps even more. Take the vitamins, eat the good stuff, take some walks, etc. You’re probably ten times busier than you were on your first baby so don’t stress out. Tell your partner to help you so you don’t overtax your muscles or lose too much sleep. Try to get those naps and lift your legs when necessary. If you keep going as if you were on your first pregnancy and had no extra burdens, or you compromise your diet a lot, you will hate yourself later.

And while you’re presenting a pretty face to the world, don’t be afraid to feel any mixed emotions you may have. These are all pretty normal to moms who have large families. Read some blogs or get encouragement from another mother with a large family to get your peace back.

They did it and so can you. They will tell you that the Laundry Demon is real, and so is living in the car. They will tell you that homecooked nutritious meals sometimes need to be replaced with frozen pizza because it automatically feeds eight. But they will also encourage you that adding that fourth, fifth, sixth, or thirteenth child is an amazing feeling. That little infant is a real person, as much as your first, and will bring the same exhilarating feel when you finally deliver him/her. You’ll be breathless, as if you’d never delivered before, and when all is said and done, you’ll look at your family—full of individuals—and wonder how you could have ever imagined your family without each and every one of them.

UPDATE: Fabulous link!!!  (For moms with large families)


110 thoughts on “Cherish the fourth (or fifth or sixth…)

  1. We are expecting our 6th child, only 10 weeks pregnant. We are very happy with it but always a bit ‘worried” about other peoples opinions. Reading your blog helped me coping with that. It’s true what you say, every little person has his own personality and is soo special!

  2. We are expecting our 5th baby in the last 5 years and I dread telling my parents. I know their response will take away from our happiness. Reading this has made me feel better, thank you.

  3. So glad to have found this. Just had my fifth baby and found out we are pregnant with our sixth. These hard times have me very worried, not to mention that i’m not looking forward to everyones reaction. My oldest just turned eight. Love your Blog, if only everyone else could poise themselves…

  4. Just had to say what a fantastic comment! As a busy mum of four young children i am often hurt that strangers feel it is somehow their right to offer me their opinions and doubts on having a large family. My parents, despite their love of me and their grandchildren, seem gobsmacked that I could possibly dream of having another and in all honestly often seem embarassed by it. My children are my life and I cannot and wouldn’t want to imagine life without these beautiful people in it.

  5. Just found out that we are expecting our sixth baby! We already have 3 boys and 2 girls (ages 8, 5 1/2, 4, 2 1/2, 1 1/2). I’m due February 2009. I am nervous and excited…MORE NERVOUS of course! Just like all of you, I am dreading the stupid comments from people around us. But I’ve learned not to care because babies are blessings! We never really planned on a family THIS big, but maybe God has his reasons. Thanks for this blog. Its very encouraging! Good luck to all of you!

  6. Thank you for such true, well-written words of encouragement!! My husband and I were open to the 5th child that we just discovered we are expecting, and we will continue to trust and NOT be fearful of having more. Our older children will be 9, 8, 6, and 3 when this little one arrives… you can imagine the stares and comments we receive!! God blesses those who truly put their trust in Him. It is a constant struggle for me to “let go” of what others think or the insulting things that come out of their mouths. I let my children win their hearts with their excellent behavior and sweet countenance!! 😉

  7. Just a beautiful little piece of writing and glimpse into your heart! Thank you so much…I needed a gentle reminder of how wonderful I have it. I’m pg with my 5th due in Oct ’08) and am excited and wonder how I’m going to manage everything, all at the same time. My husband and I never imagined having five (or more) but are finding that with the addition of each child we settle in more and more to a certain kind of peacefulness…chaos and peace. It’s a weird combination and it’s hard to believe that the two could exist together but in our house they do…and it’s so great! I feel like I know a best kept secret!! Thanks again for the post.

  8. So good there are people like yourself out there spreading such encouragement. Will be confirming whether we are pregnant with our 6th, seem to have all those familiar symtoms. I am excited but also very much aware that I will have to adjust once again.

    As hard as this process may be, I am excited as I know God is showing me how to restrain myself and communicate more effectively. It is so easy to want to defend your actions when people oppose them, but I think I would rather redirect such questions this time around. I don’t need to be the target of everyones beliefs or feel a need to defend myself. If someone has a problem it can remain their problem. We are going to enjoy this ride, we only have one life to live and there are bigger issues to deal with…

    I have watched a close friend with 9 children, I only ever found out she was pregnant when I asker her. It actually taught me to respect her more every time I asked her. It showed me that she is happy with her decision and she doesn’t need other peoples approval. She also was careful not to complain as she knew it would get a nasty response compared to if she had just one or two children. A hard thing to do when worn out but one to aspire to… Practise makes easier…

    I am really looking forward to the process of having my own character sharpened to be able to love and redirect those who would want to pull us down. We teach people how to treat us. You have blessed and encouraged me also, a big thanks! Karen

  9. What a wonderful article. I am so glad I found it to read. It has really encouraged me in so many ways! I am due to have our fifth boy in September and was not feeling attached to this baby as I did the others, just not excited or having that special feeling. I was very excited and happy in the beginning but has time went on and I constantly hear the “surprise/shock” or unintentional negative comments (and some times Not unintentional) of people we know and strangers as well I think it began to wear on me. It has been so uplifting to read this article and know that there are others out there who can relate to me. This baby may be our fifth, and he is a boy..just like our other four children but that doesn’t make him any less special or important. It has been good to be reminded that we are VERY happy to be having number five!!
    Thanks again!

  10. Wow where do I start…I thought after my 3rd child ppl would just plain out think i was nuts, but then I found out I was expecting the 4th then reactions were anything but nice especially since my last 3 babies happen to have exactly 16 mos between all of them. The comments were just outright rude like “Are gonna fix yourself after this one?” and “Don’t expect any financial help after you did this to yourself.” i breastfed my 4th til’ he was 2 yrs old to the day and VOILA!
    I am now pregnant with baby #5, I have basically kept this baby a secret from as many ppl as possible but I still get the rude comments like it is really any of their concern. I truly believe the higher spirit only gives you as much as you can handle. And you know my kids are all loved equally because my heart has plently room to add more if need be. Getting pregnant no longer makes me nervous just more excited I love my kids no matter if I have 5 or 10 more lol

  11. What a truly beautiful article. I and my four other children (the 3 older ones anyway!) are really happy about having our fifth baby soon, God willing. What I am struggling with is people’s – even strangers – attitudes. Even my friends have been unsure about whether to be pleased for us. It seems that any more than 3 children makes you a completely irresponsible social outcast, I do get depressed with the constant sniping and comments from people to be honest. WE seem unable to go anyway without waitresses and coffee assistants sneering (with hints of fear) at my 4 children and being very pregnant. I’ve also noticed that the way we live in ths the UK – from the size of our cars, houses and food portions – is geared for ever smaller, not larger households. I’ve been looking for a fryer and can’t find a reasonable sized one! My car seats 7 but won’t take a twin pram as well! Anyway we carry on and try to raise our children with love and care, and hope that they will be around to help to rude strangers when they get old and have no family…

  12. People act like big families aren’t in!!! I am having my 5th boy with my new husband and I am sick of people asking me is this my first and when they find out it’s not…they ask are you going to get a Tubal after this one? The nerve!! They don’t know the situation as to why you are having a child. I remarried and that happens..ya know! Whatever your reason it’s none of their business. No matter if it’s your 1st or 6th child, they are truly blessings. I love my 4 boys and I will love the 5th just the same.

  13. I am currently pregnant with my 6th baby. We are excited. This is an interesting place to be, because there are unique changes that come with larger families. We have to now think about transportation (our vehicles only seat 7). We have to size everything to fit more people. (1 pizza is not enough, etc.). And our baby stuff is beginning to wear out. (some wonderful friends are going to throw us a baby shower!) But we realize how blessed we are. So many people have bought into the wrong assumption that children are a nuisance or inconvienience. People are down-right selfish! It is an amazing blessing to be able to realize that children are a good thing, a blessing, something to be desired. I guess that when we are all 80 and those selfish people are sitting in a nursing home somewhere with no one to visit them, then they might realize their error. God is good and He gives good things to those who trust in Him. He always provides exactly what we need when we need it. I would encourage anyone who is doubtful to test Him in this. Take Him at His Word, and see just how faithful He is!

  14. ps. That’s my husband’s picture. Oops! Oh well, in a sense we are one, and are therefore both expecting…

  15. Older post, but a good one. Just discovered today that #4 is on its way, and know very well that the family won’t be exactly pleased, though my husband and I are. This will make four kids 5 and under.

    But I can’t live my life to please outsiders– a lesson you’d think I’d have learned, real thoroughly, by now. You just can’t let other people’s fearful negativity suck out the joy and adventure in your own life.

    A friend of mine has nine kids; she’s ultra-careful not to let any stray complaints slip, because I think she knows people will just use it to say “See??”

    Sad, but a good lesson to learn. Be relentlessly positive.

  16. Just read your post and it lifted my heart. I’m 8 weeks pregnant with my 5th baby, my eldest is 18 and youngest just 13 months. I wasn’t feeling confident about telling people because of the comments I’m expecting but each of my children is loved and cherished and this wee baby will be too. It doesn’t matter what people say, as a family we want this baby and we can’t wait to meet him/her. This was our decision and will only enrich our lives. None of my children will ever be lonely, there will always be someone there for them, even after mum and dad are gone.

  17. Hi, how refreshing to read this. We are expecting our 5th baby in July 2010. 16wks pregnant.. I cannot begin to tell you how many people have said “oh my god!, “are you insane”? And similar comments…
    Having had 4 girls , everyone straight away says how we must be desperate for a boy! And will not believe us when we say we just want a healthy baby and don’t mind what sex it is.
    We feel so lucky to already have 4 healthy kids and genuinly want one more…who knows, we may even go for a 6th..
    Thankyou… Julie xxx

  18. It is so nice to hear that there are other big families out there! We have four kids under 7yrs old and I feel ready to have another. The youngest is 4yrs old. The problem is convincing my husband. He had a vasectomy and I found an amazing doctor who does reversals. I think deep down he is also worried about what other people’s reactions will be, which is so unfortuate. We truly love our family and he is a wonderful dad to the kids. We also have lots of family support as well. I find that I am so upset about this…I wish there was some way that I could get him to change his mind. This would be our last (I just turned 38yrs) and I know this child would be so loved by everyone in the family. Any suggestions or comments to help me?

  19. Hey there!  So you have four kids under 7yrs old?  We do too!  Friends!  We are also finally getting the place where we are thinking about more.  For awhile, we felt like it would be impossible.  But since we originally wanted five or six children, we’re reopening the idea.

    It’s so hard when one partner doesn’t feel this, but a little suggestion (without pressure) can open doors.  Especially if your first four kids are doing well, he might be more open than you think.  If they’re not, are there any steps you could take to help “get your ducks in a row”?  If he originally wanted the vasectomy, it may be harder to convince him than if you had originally suggested it.  Ultimately, both partners need to be respected in the decision since you are the one do the raising but he is (probably) the one doing the providing.  And in a husband’s point of view, a wife is a dependent too, so he is already feeling responsibility for one extra person in life.  An open, honest talk is probably best, and just hearing each other out for the first go round is my suggestion… as opposed to trying to resolve the issue in just one conversation. 

    It’s wonderful that you found a doctor who can do the reversals!  The right doctor and the finances are definitely a good preliminary step.  But just be sure that your husband doesn’t feel pressured (since nobody likes their privates fooled around with)!  On your own end, also be sure that you really want more children long-term rather than just missing baby- or toddlerhood.    I recently went through my daughter’s baby clothes and it was all I could do to not rush right up to my husband and demand another baby!  I admit it, it was so bittersweet!  Babyhood was just so familiar to us for awhile that it is hard for both of us to accept that it’s over. 

    And maybe it’s not!  But like I said, just make sure =)

    Best, Jaime

  20. Thank you so much for your response. I have thought long and hard about this decision and I can see this being a very positive outcome for the long-term. I think I will take your advice and try to have another honest, open talk about everything. Best wishes to your big family as well!!

  21. A dear friend just sent me this link!Thanks! I have found it very uplifting! We are expecting our eighth baby in a few months and I am going through a lot of negativity from pple around us (pple who don’t help mind you, the long suffering friends who offer help and jump in when they see a need seem only full of joy for us, funny that hey). Our eldest is 16 however we have five under ten and only one girl. I am just as excited with this baby as I was with my first, though not at all fearful or anxious. I now know that God provides our every need, when we need it!
    God Bless you all,
    Monique australia

  22. I just read this several times and even shared it with my husband. It is pretty much how I feel. We are expecting our 4th child and are open to more. It took guts for us to do what felt right for us. Family, stangers and even friends didn’t react happy when we announce our new pregnancy. We are open to 5th child in the near future but find ourselves lying to people to avoid those negative attitudes. It upsets me and at times makes me feel so sad that our joy is not shared by many. It’s hard having your own mother demand that one of us better get snipped after baby four. We live 950 miles away from both families, we do not depend on government help nor has any one of our families even babysat for us or help us take care of our children. Thank you for writing this in breathing a sense that we are not alone or crazy for loving our big families in a world with so much negative reactions.

  23. It makes me so sad to realize that this world is so disapproving of children, or larger families. But big families are actually more popular now, as I see some actresses and models having more than 3!!! When it comes to children, people get defensive automatically, but I believe it really depends on your mood and perspective. If you are positive, and look healthy, and you seem to manage your 4 or 6 children fine, strangers and family/friends will less likely approach you about the choice of a big family. I have a friend who had her 12th baby, and I have never seen a friendlier family. Their children- ages 16 to 8 months all adore their parents. Big families are a lot of work, but you have to remember that as years go by, your oldest kids help out, if you teach them. I have 3 children now, and are hoping for a 4th. my children are 18 months, 3 1/2, and almost 6. My 18 month old can pick up toys, and take garbage to the trash can, my 3 yr old can pick up dirty laundry, clean up toys, pick up crumbs under the table, and wipe down walls. My eldest is my biggest help, she can clear the table, clean the living room, clean her room, make her bed, and more. You cant force them to clean or help out if you are negative or forcing them to do what you wouldn’t do yourself. I try to make housework meaningful, and fun.
    Children are lots of work, but its also great fun. You keep young as you read your children stories, and play blocks on the floor, or swim in their kiddie pool.
    Having children also shapes you into a better person, as you become less selfish, and more loving and giving and wise.
    My children mean the world to me, and I know I mean the world to my children. Its a great circle of love.

  24. I have three kids 6/4/2 love having three n would love one more…i only have three compared to 4,5 n 6 on this blog..but i do hate the comments like u already have three healthy kids why would u want anymore..Im the one taking care of the next one..people with their stupid comments act like yhey have to take care of your 3 or four kids. Why would anyone discourage others from having more angels in thier lives. Mostly its because THEY couldn’t handle it(3 or more) so they discourage u.Good luck to all the moms on here having 39 n want one more just wish i was a few years younger although Im handling three easily so four really shouldnt make a difference except for another load of

  25. Oh i also wanted to say I have a full time job also 70 miles from my home and me and my husband have never had any help or a babysitter ever!!!! We have worked opposite shifts or i work nights so we never have to leave them w/anyone n people still think your nuts to want more!!I couldn’t imagine just 1 or 2 kids love the chaos!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. I just wanted to say how nice it is to see so many families that enjoy having alot of children, we are expecting our fourth baby in August and at first I was completly terrifed of telling anyone because I was totally scared of what there reaction might be but now my husband and I are thrilled to welcome our new baby girl to our family!!! We continue to get the rude remarks but we stay confident in our desicion that this is our family and this is what makes us happy! We love our children dearly and dispite the rude comments it weighs it self out when people complement us on our beautiful family. it’s all worth it!


    To anyone out there with any doubt at all, don’t worry. You were sent these beautiful blessings for a reason!

  27. Hey just had #4 in May so that makes ours 7,3,2 and almost 7 weeks… I had to lie all throughout my pregnancy with Willow (#4) saying I didnt want anymore after her because of the negative comments and looks… Ok we dont own our home or they dont have a bedroom each but they are loved and well taken care of and isn’t that all that matter at the end of the day??? I feel like absolute crap even thinking about having more kids…And am starting to wonder..maybe there IS something wrong with me…any advice anyone??? I am only 29 and dont feel my baby days are over..but really wish I felt they were…=(

  28. We recently decided we are going to try for baby #5. I have a 7, 5, 3, 1 yr olds 3 girls and 1 boy. We thought we were done but always said 4 or 5. I also have seen the looks, one day we were walking into Macdonals, and the people sitting by the window stopped eating and stared! Also, many people ask “are you done” expecting you to say “oh yes forsure” when i tell them we are thinking of having more people get crazy! I am not sure why people even ask….A close friend even seemed to get upset about it. I am also dreading telling my in-laws (who had 5 kids of their own). I will say though i know at least 6 people that have 4 or more kids, 4 is getting more popular. I am glad I ran into your post!

  29. Hi! I’m 6 weeks with baby #5. I’m feeling very very depressed as i really DO NOT want more… but I know I can’t go through a termination (which I never had) I’m always grumpy and very sad, I have not been working as much(I have my own biz) and have not been a “mom” to my other 4. We haven’t told anybody yet, but I did tell a friend, who recently got an abortion – she only 2 kids, financially stable, married and young and her reaction was like O-M-G I can’t imagine! I wanted to kick her and say “of course you can’t! you are selfish!!!!!!” I really don’t know why I bothered telling her, it’s probably to sort of make her regret what she has done, but she couldn’t be happier as she continues to do whatever it is she wants (vacations, going out etc)

    Back to me, I really really don’t want to go through all this again. I’m feeling very very very depressed, I feel that this is all too unfair on my part. My husband is happy of course, he gets to go about his business because nothing changes for him. My youngest is 6 and my eldest is 14.

    I’m sorry if this is the wrong thread. I just need someone to talk to…

  30. Hi
    Thank you so much for your blog. It truly lifted my spirits. I am now pregnant with our 6th child but we are raising my nephew as well so will make 7 children for us. We love everyone of our children but when we found out about this pregnancy it left us with doubts. Especially because of the lack of support from families (both sides) in having such a large family. The rude comments from strangers who feel it is their duty to give you their opinions. I felt embarrassment for the first time in my life after being proud of my large family always. And it all came from what everyone would think and say. I am still struggling to get past it all, feel blessed and embrace this new pregnancy. This blog really was beautiful to read. It gave me that bit of support for a large family that I think I needed to really put my heart into this and tell everyone else to ‘mind their business’ Thank you. Our children are B 8, B 8, G 5, G 4, B 2, B 1 and due Mar 11.

    Post 34 – I had all the same feelings. I hope this blog above touched you and helped you feel better about everything the way it has for me.

  31. Thank you so much for the post. God bless you for sharing. I found this when I was looking up something on large families. I have recently found out I am pregnant with our 6th child. We too have children close in age. We have an 8 yr old son, then sons 5,4, daughter 2, and son 8 months old. I have been having mixed feelings about telling people because of the comments they have all made in the past. I will be a month shy of being 39 when our 6th is born so there will be age comments as well.

    Thank you for your uplifting post.

  32. Hi am pregnant with number 5 (had one miscarriage so baby makes 5) anyway this is the second my husband and I have together …. when baby comes we will have six children collectively….. I haven’t felt at all attached to the baby girl I am carrying and I am due to deliver in about 9 days…. I have scheduled c-section. I am scareed and I feel alone and afraid…. this pregnancy wasn’t planned and it came at a time when my marriage is in a horrible place and both my husband and I are unemployed…. this only adds to the stress of adding another baby….. I struggle with the day to day struggles of having 4 in my care constantly ranging in age from 14 boy, 13 boy, 12 boy, 5 girl and one stepson 11…… I don’t believe in abortion so that wasn’t an option. I just feel so dejected and out of it with this pregnancy and I am about to deliver…. How will we ever bond….. I get stared at and have no support from my husband and I cry most days…. I pray daily and am thankful for this blog it was uplifting as were most of the comments that I read. I may come back and comment after delivery and such and update things. Thanks again for the blog.

  33. We have 5 children (B- 12/13/01) (B- 11/21/03) (G-3-30-05) (G 6-24-07) (B 12/14/09) and I found out this morning we are expecting #6. Im not telling anyone. We are military and no where near home, but everyone just brings me down, and im sick of it.

  34. Thank you so much for your uplifting blog! I am 11 weeks pregnant with my 5th child. My older 4 children are 7 years, 4 years, 2 years, and 10 months old. I am very reluctant to tell anyone outside immediate family because of the reactions that I know I will get from others. Your blog really made me feel relieved and that I’m not the only mom to feel this way. I am excited about this baby, because each child is a blessing and a unique soul – but I’m apprehensive about what my friends and coworkers might say. I just think about all the exciting new baby things we’ll experience together…and when my sisters ask me how I’ll have time for another baby, I say “I’ll just fit this baby into the schedule and routine we already have” (it will just be an added diaper bag and an extra little person). I love children and I feel blessed to be able to bring these special souls into this world. Again, thank you for your comments and your words of wisdom. My heart has been uplifted.

  35. We have 5 children & I am 9 weeks pregnant with # 6. My parents are thrilled but my husband’s family is worried and many family members and others I expect to be rude & unsupportive. I was looking for some encouragement & I found it! You said just what I needed to hear.

  36. I have 4 children under the age of 6. I am done and at peace with this. I agree that the rude comments from people when they hear that is your 4th child is not nice. I don’t let it bug me.
    I have seven siblings. There was one comment about the older children helping with the younger. I think that this is very unfair I was the oldest in the family and missed out on a lot as a young adult. For personal experience, you need to make sure that your older children have freedom and not merely babysitters. For this reason, I am finished having children.

  37. I am so thankful to have come across this blog. I am a mother of 5 two girls and 3 boys (13,12,9,3 and 1) and we are trying to have another. I don’t get now a days why people are so against having more than one child. I get the whole “oh your pregnant again,are you crazy” all the time. I have to just trust and believe in God that all is going to be well and stop being concerned with what others say or feel about it. I love all my children and they are such a blessing. I commend anyone that wants to have a large family. Thanks so much for all the encouragement I have reaad in the other blogs.

    God Bless
    Aimee J

  38. oh absolute bliss – to hear your words – i am just waiting a week or two then will find out if i am expecting baby number 6 – my children are 15,13,7,4 and 2. isn’t it funny, when you first get married, people all say “so when are you having kids” – then you have one and they say (almost as soon as you’ve just given birth), “so when are you having another”, then you get to 3 or 4 and it’s “so is this your last?” I am SO HAPPY that i may be having number 6 – no, i am not so young anymore, but love them all and love having so many smiling faces at my dinner table. and maybe one day i will see the bottom of the laundry basket – hahaha!

  39. I already have 4 children ages 16, 15, 9, & 7. I am 37 yrs old I have thought for several years that I didn’t want more kids, but now that my husband is scheduled for a vasectomy next month, I am having a change of heart. I’m thinking that it might be my last shot at having just one more and making it 5. He’s had reservations all along about permanent birth control, but has agreed to it. Now that I have a change of heart, I have mixed feelings about what we should do. I love all 4 of my children very much, but don’t know if it would be fair to them financially and if I would be able to support such a wide age range emotionally. I would be very nervous, but excited if I had a 5th. There are many inspiring posts that give good advice and support for those with larger families.

  40. I’m so glad I happened upon this blog. We have 4 children, but we have different ciumstances then most. Our children are 15 , 9, 5, and our 3 year old past away unexpectedly in his sleep when he was a year and half old. My husband and I have been talking about having another child for about 6 months now and just not sure what people will think or say. The dr’s came back 6 months later after all the test and things were done on our little guy and he appoligized and said they have know clue what it could have been. He was perfectly healthy. That’s the part that scares me. God knows our heart and our concerns, and we would love to welcome another one. And I think even with our 4th still here we would be considering this again. And possible 6th. Thanks for letting me talk, what a great site. I’ll be back often.

  41. This was exactly what I needed to stumble upon! I have four children 11,5.5, 3.5, and 2. After baby four, my husband had a vasectomy. Well I am now pregnant with baby five. I feel very alone in terms of friends and family. Aside from my children and husband! I get questions like, is it my husbands?, or didn’t ur husband get fixed, and just because ur pregnant again doesn’t mean we have to be happy about if! When I told my best friend she was extremely rude and even told me she wasn’t going to talk to me for a little while, as if she wa punishing me.
    I feel like for whatever reason I am meant to have five children, I am imbracing this baby, and am happy! The only reason my husband is worried is, he is deploying to Afghanistan in six weeks and will be gone a year! So my support system is gone! And today I was searching for women pregnant with baby five to see if it’s normal to show earlier, for my breasts to start swelling and producing milk, among other things. And I found this blog. Not sure if it is ongoing but it was so nice to read the blog and the posts and know that I am not the only woman in the world pregnant with her fifth!

  42. This was exactly what I needed to stumble upon! I have four children 11,5.5, 3.5, and 2. After baby four, my husband had a vasectomy. Well I am now pregnant with baby five. I feel very alone in terms of friends and family. Aside from my children and husband! I get questions like, is it my husbands?, or didn’t ur husband get fixed, and just because ur pregnant again doesn’t mean we have to be happy about if! When I told my best friend she was extremely rude and even told me she wasn’t going to talk to me for a little while, as if she wa punishing me.
    I feel like for whatever reason I am meant to have five children, I am imbracing this baby, and am happy! The only reason my husband is worried is, he is deploying to Afghanistan in six weeks and will be gone a year! So my support system is gone! And today I was searching for women pregnant with baby five to see if it’s normal to show earlier, for my breasts to start
    swelling and producing milk, among other things. And I found this blog. Not sure if it is ongoing but it was so nice to read the blog and the posts and know that I am not the only woman in the world pregnant with her fifth!

  43. thank you for this post…I am expecting a very unexpected 5th baby, and although unexpected, I can’t help but to feel blessed. If a baby can be concieved post vasectomy, then surely this must be God’s hand at work. I haven’t told anyone but my husband ~ I don’t want to deal with the joy-sucking comments that arrive from the most unusual people….family mostly. Everyone seems to think we are stupid or crazy~sometimes both…but I can not imagine our family any other way.
    Thank you ~ the lonley feeling I began the day with has vanished 🙂

  44. To the ladies that are sad and depressed about the 5th pregnancy, Sara and another one, I would love to know how you’re doing now. Did you adjust well? I feel the same way all of you do. I just found out I’m pregnant with the fifth. My kids are 18,9,6,and 3. I have not been able to decide if I can go through with it. At least I know I’m not alone. Thankyou. Now I will go cry myself to sleep…..

  45. Oddly enough, as I struggle with this, my sister and friends are very supportive. I expected some rude comments or are you serious? And it was the opposite. I do think my 18 yr old will have a heart attack….he has been a good big brother.

  46. What an absolute blessing to stumble upon this blog today. We are expecting baby #5 We have 4 boys (13, 11, 7 and 3). Reading this has put things into prospective for me and given me a new way to look at things. I can not thank you enough. God Bless big beautiful families!

  47. I recently found out I am pregnant with no.5 ( I have 4 boys, 9,7,4,18mths) and struggle with mixed emotions. I wanted my husband to get a vasectomy but he always put it off! Now this has happened and he glares at me like its my fault. I know he doesn’t want another baby and worries about how we can get on with 5 – how do we fit everything into the car?? I cannot bring myself to go to the doc for the pills and end it, I just can’t. I can’t deny the feeling of joy and happiness that I get deep down in my soul everytime I learn I am pregnant.

    Reading everything on this page has made me laugh and cry. What lovely, positive mothers out there, battling with the “shame” of adding to the world’s population and working hard to manage the chaos at home and keep everyone happy. Not to mention swallowing their misery on the hard days and keeping positive just so others cant sneer “Told you so!” Am I up to the job? I can’t say, am so nauseous and demoralised. But I draw strength from having read all the comments, bless everyone for telling their stories and sharing positive messages. Now I just need my partner to read it all too…

  48. I can’t believe i stumbled across this blog! I was just complaining to my husband that i don’t know how I am going to get though this pregnancy…It’s my 4th in 5 years, I have a 4yr old,2yr old and 10 month old.I wasn’t planning on having anymore children anytime soon, I live with my in-laws and heir going to have to know about this very soon…My mother-in-law already mentioned we “need to use some kind of protection”…My husband and i are pretty young and we already get the stares from strangers,adding a 4th one is going to make a lot worse..With all said and done I love My family and I am truly happy for my new little blessing…Thank you for the encouraging words

  49. Randomly came across this blog and I ended up reading every single persons comments, because all the feelings expressed I’ve experienced. I’m a full time working mother to 4 children 12/10/7/2. Myself and husband always wanted a large family…originally. My reason being I love children, and my husband being from a large family has happy memories. After our third child who had meningitis at 3 months I vowed to myself that he would be my last as I could not emotionally go through see another child fight for their life, it scarred me so emotionally it still hurts, my son now 7 and by some miracle has had no effects from the meningitis even after suffering in hospital for 6 months. To find out 5 years later I was pregnant with my daughter was a minor heart attack, yes people are so rude I could slap them but at that time I was more scared about the future and the health of the baby. We were blessed with a beautiful daughter who unfortunately ended up in ICU with bronchitis at 5 weeks on christmas day, not being able to hold her for 5 days straight really hurt. We spoilt her rotten after this lol. She really completed us and now I’m 27 weeks with my 5th baby. My initial reaction was I was going to have an abortion, why? Because I’m selfish. I love my children so much that to see them suffer I could not go through this, I even had the I initial assessment without my husbands knowledge of me being pregnant and on the day of the abortion I had my then 1 year old sleeping on my chest and I could feel her heart beat pounding next to mine. It then dawned on me that, these 4 hearts in my life is what keeps my heart pounding, albeit at most times stress but love at all times, and could I as a mother as much as I really did not WANT to have another child could I stop this heart beat inside me? I answered my own question by telling a shocked by elated husband on the pending new arrival in our family….
    I remember notifying my colleagues at work, one so kindly responded by saying “you must be gutted”
    Me: ” err obviously not as much as you are”.
    I don’t think I’ve had a pleased response by family and friends except immediate family. But you know what…I don’t know what I don’t care what others think. I’ve been very close to loosing 2 of my children, to loose a child I don’t want to imagine the feeling do i think I’ll concentrate on the memories of carrying your child after birth, who knows what personality this little girl will have, what I do know is that she will be adding more chaos, laughter and memories into my crazy world…and will I cope? Of course I will!!! I’m a woman!!!!

  50. Well, the last time I wrote I had found this website and it was a lifesaver. I had an unexpected 5th pregnancy. I made an appointment to abort. Never went. Then my Husband and I decided to keep it. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO apprehensive about this at first, then we started making plans and got very excited. Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage on Halloween. It just wasn’t meant to be but I still get the parenting emails about how big my baby is now and I am drooling over everyone’s baby. My Husband and I jokingly talk about a baby but man, my oldest is about to graduate. My youngest is 4. There is no logical reason to have another. But good luck to all of you. Things fall into place the way they should.

  51. I feel so blessed to have read this post, and to have read all of the comments from moms with more than 4. I am currently pregnant with #5, due July 2012. I am so excited and happy about this pregnancy, but I can’t stand the comments that I get from family and friends. I understand that for some it is hard to fathom more than two, but all of my children bring me such immense joy. When I was pregnant with my fourth child I was hounded by family who said such horrible things. My husband was told that if I really loved him, I wouldn’t burden him with more children. (As if I got pregnant by myself!) It was a hard time. Finally I decided I couldn’t take anymore, and agreed to have a tubal during the csection birth of my 4th. I regretted it immediately, and spent a year crying, so sad that I allowed others opinions and comments to beat me down, and steal my joy. My wonderful husband understood, and I had a reversal in Feb 2011. He still wasn’t sure about having more children, but I left that part up to God. God changed my husbands heart, and we conceived. I will be 42 a few weeks after this child is born. My other children will be 15,13,4,2 when this new baby is born. Everyone in our immediate family is excited, but I can’t say the same for the extended family. I know this will most likely be our last pregnancy due to my age, but I finally feel like my family is complete, like everyone is here. I love our chaotic, crazy, love filled life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. And for those who tell me what I am missing, such as new cars, and expensive vacations, I say will those things be with you when you are old? Will they give you grandchildren to love? I think not. The bible says that children are a blessing and debt is a curse. Yet we apply for the debt, and turn away from the blessing of more children. I am truly happier now with 4 than I was with 2. We have learned such wonderful lessons on what we really need in this life, and our true needs are not things that money can buy. I am proud of my family. I truly believe that it is the one thing I got right in this life. 🙂

  52. I am a mother of 4 girls but want to have that 5th child. Love kids and I feel they fill so much in life. Can I afford another no but can I afford what I have maybe not but we are still here and surviving. Thanks after reading this it changed the whole view of things.

  53. I have four beautiful children (6 and under) and thought our family was complete. Just got a positive read on my pregnancy test and have had very mixed emotions about it. I was searching online for words of encouragement and insight when I came across your post. It brought tears to my eyes to read, “Guard your heart carefully, as if your little infant could actually hear what was being said about them”. Thank you for your words, they brought a calm to my heart!

  54. I’m a 37 yr old mother of 4 children-b19, b18, g16, b11. My husband was fixed right after baby#4, we were very happy to be done. Late last year, I was raped and became pregnant. Abortion didn’t feel right, so, my husband and I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. We recently moved out of state and have no family or friends, I feel horribly isolated. My husband is wonderful and excited for the baby, me, not at all. I’m terrified of giving birth after all these years, I wake up will my heart beating fast and sweating. I want nothing more to enjoy this pregnancy, to not be afraid and to know that I will be alright. I read all of the posts and feel a little better seeing all of these strong women who have given birth over and over, unafraid. I want to know this baby is a blessing and not a curse.

  55. You’ve done it four times already, you can do it again Ruth 🙂 I got extremely anxious with my last bub, sixth pregnancy and mine have all been close. I just kept reminding myself that I’ve done it before, I can do it again. I was so excited when he was finally born after having suffered with depression through his entire pregnancy. I was so happy that he was finally here.

  56. What a great article..Found out this week we are pregnant with our 5th.. Boy-9, Boy-7, Boy-4, Girl-21months. We took the iud out ourselves after praying if God wanted us to have more.. Ever since I have really been questioning myself.. Im busy with four.. Lucky to be a stay at home mom for a year now, but have to keep up my (RN) nursing license, along with the increased chaos an extra child can bring had me having some serous second thoughts.. And then found out we were pregnant, without even trying the girl making-method..Was very depressed for a few days…Would LOVE another girl..would love a healthy baby.. worried about both. I found a lot of PEACE in this article and the messages from people….Children are a blessing from the Lord…
    I’m youngest of 7, My husband 4th of 9..Just Plain Christian background on both sides.. Never had issues with people thinking my four were to many except for a man at work, which was more funny than anything else..I think people just had the idea I would try till I got a girl. Well now I have that girl, I may get a different reaction..We will see..
    My family would rather I have more..Most friends find me crazy, I’m sure, especially those with 1 child!! I feel blessed to have each one..Just need to pray for patience to be the best mom I can to ALL of them..Because.. Children are a blessing from the Lord!

  57. Wow what amazing stories I too am on my 5th child. All togather there are six kids that includes (my boyfriends son). Ages are 14 girl, 10 boy, 8 girl , 4 boy & 3 boy. I just found out last night and I’m very concerned about what ppl are going to say. Should i really care no because we take care of our kids no one else and Opinions are like a**holes everyone’s got one. But that still doesnt mean the comments that ppl are going to make wont bother me. It might not be the best time but Im a firm believer in Things happen for a Reason. Besides, when is the “Right Time”. To be honest the only one Im concerned about is my 14 year old and how she feels. But in the end she’ll be okay i’m sure. We are happy and things are going pretty good for us maybe still not the best time but I always say whats one more when you got four or five. Keep you head up ladies, God never gives us more than we can handle.

  58. glad i found this i have 4 under 7, b6,b4 1/2, g1 1/2, b 4months and i have just found out im pregnant again:)

  59. I am really glad that I read this. This was such a great way of looking at a beautiful blessing as this. I am pregnant with our sixth child, deep down I did want another child but I wasnt sure if or when and surprise surprise! I am also weary and do not like the commemts of other people when they will hear im pregnant again. We have five girls so I am hoping with Gods blessing this will be our boy. Thank you for writing this for all the blessed families with 3+ children, I even teared up because this really touches the heart and has every peace of truth in it, thank you!

  60. It was such a shock to discover I was pregnant again with no.5! Of course I was so worried about how we would cope. Reading this was just what I needed to reassure me. Yes it has been tough but now I have given birth to my fifth baby boy it is just so amazing how you adjust to this new tiny being in your life! All the other boys love him and we are so blessed he is healthy and the pregnancy went well, despite my worry and exhaustion! I never intended to have a family this large but now I am so proud of my brood. Now I just need to stop beating myself up about not being “perfect” and accept that sometimes the housework and everything else will just have to wait while I tend to my little ones. Life can be so much fun, chaotic and a bit messy, but fun.

  61. Wow, I never knew so many women were out there having the same experiences as me. We have four and have our fifth on the way.Two girls and two boys all 6 and under.I too have had rude ppl comment about how large our family is. For one my parents were never happy so i’m always put down everytime i mention it. My husband even had one lady say to him after mentioning our fifth “Dont you know when to cut it somewhere?” After reading this article, it has really brought up my spirits! We love our children so much, we cant imagine life without them. My husband is so proud he said if it were up to

  62. him he would keep having me pregnant.My phone cut me off,oops! Thank you for the wonderful words of encouragment. Our children are god send and a blessing, that right there is something to celebrate! Best wishes and God bless all of you! And Happy Holidays!

  63. Great for you! I discovered this site last year while pregnant with a fifth, and not a welcomed thing. Then I began to feel it was ok, but miscarried. I am now again pregnant with my 5th, a boy, due in April and we are excited, although I am a little scared starting over. My youngest will be 5 in 5 days and I just turned 40.

  64. So happy I found your blog Im glad I’m not the only one on my 5th pregnancy all 12-15 months apart. Thank you for the advice with the “don’t you know what causes that” or my favorite “you guys need a hobby” speech.

  65. Wow! Very inspiring and heartfelt! I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with my 6th and I’m so scared to tell anyone! X

  66. It is 2013 and I am so glad that I found this blog. I am expecting my 4th baby and I couldn’t have been more shocked when we found out but this blog made me feel so so so much better. Thank you!!

  67. I am due in 4 weeks with my fifth and so excited! i wish others would understand that just because I’ve done this 4 times before does not make this time any less special, exciting, nervous etc. This baby is just as unique and special as my first or second, third and fourth were and deserves to be celebrated as much as any of my others were. I love the advice of making sure to enjoy the pregnancy and cherish the moments as much as you did the first time around-it is so true. You never get that back and each one is special! I want to be able to tell ALL my children special stories and memories of being pregnant with them. I want no one left out just because they came along last and not first!

  68. Beautiful blog, thank you!
    We are expecting #5. We were TTC and extremely happy when we got our BFP.
    About 7 weeks in a I started freaking out, wondering how Ill cope, and how will it affect our children (G10, B5, G3, B3) will they get enough of me…. How will I run our business…so many questions and insecurities, at one point kinda wishing for a miscarriage…..I was devastated at my feelings, felt like the worse person ever, how do I tell my DH how I was feeling as he was super excited! I had never felt those feelings ever with any of my children.
    I got up the courage and spoke to him about how I was feeling, he was saddened but very supportive and understanding, this seemed to help…days later the happiness and excitement returned 😀
    My family and close friends have been very happy and excited for us so far as they new we were trying…my mum was a little unsure when we told her we were TTC but that changed as soon as we told her the news, she too is super exciting. I haven’t experienced any of the negative feedback yet, but We are holding off announcing it to the world at this stage, I’m a tad nervous as to what ppl will think and say…even though their words may not sync with their thoughts. It should be interesting. Will keep you updated.

    Nicole, it’s nice seeing your little story as I read through all the replays, good luck beautiful lady, It’s meant to be. 🙂

  69. I am due next month with my 3rd, I have 2 beautiful girls and another girl on the way 🙂 my older one is 4 and my younger one is 2. ppl will be rude and say comments like “don’t you know how that happens by now!?” or wow u must have your hands full! I just smile and say yup, that’s the way we like it or I’ll joke and say idk must be something in the water lol (that’s to the don’t u know how that happens by now question) the more the marryer 🙂 with all the cooking and cleaning and laundry I barely even have time to take a shower! it’s stressful but it’s fun, my life would be so lonely and empty if I had no one to keep me busy. Each baby is a blessing. when I give them a kiss goodnight, I know everything is going to be alright. tomorrow is a new day, and I don’t care what anyone els has to say. Who should say how it should be? let them live there life, this is my journey.

  70. Love this article. It is basically stealing the thoughts right out of my head. I’ve just had my fourth baby. And like most of you, got all the same comments from others like “wow, you have how many children?” even some from family members joking about when the next one will arrive. Like its any of their business. Its so offensive to me that people have to chime in on our decisions. We love our children, that’s why we have so many! My hubby and I had always thought 4 would be it. But now, without even having to talk about it to one another, I know we are both thinking about a 5th! Peoples opinions and families opinions do have me concerned, but it shouldn’t. Children are a blessing. And I like the above comment, we should always live by this, especially through the comments of others “let others live their lives, this is MY journey”

  71. I just found out today that I’m pregnant with my fourth, I think my husband and I are still a little shell shocked. Reading this calmed me immensely. Thank you.

  72. I’m pregnant with my 4th, actually been pretty down and depressed. I wasn’t wanting anymore but I guess I should have been more careful. My husband and I are separated and things between us haven’t been good for a long time. Reading this made me feel a little better. But I’d feel a whole heck of a lot better if I had a great man, husband and father to help raise and care for all our little ones. Unfortunately, I do not.

  73. I am so happy to find this. I am pregnant with #6 and have mixed emotions! I was on birth control and didn’t think that I would end up pregnant. My doctor refused to tie my tubes and so did the doctor after that. The 2nd doctor said that Mirena would be a better option for me. I ended up with nerve problems and started walking with a limp so I went back to bc pills. I am now pregnant and know that my family will not be happy to hear I am having another child. I have a sister who has been trying to conceive for over 10 years now and is on her 3rd try with ivf treatment! She made a comment recently about a friend who is pregnant with her 5th child about what could have been going through her mind to even think about a 5th one. I ofcourse took total offense to that comment because I myself have 5. My mother feels sorry for my sister so I know that she will be anti my baby. With my 5th pregnancy a few family and friends told me that I should get an abortion. One actually called her an accident to a neighbor and I corrected her and told the neighbor that she wasn’t an accident she was a surprise. I actually went to planned parenthood to see how far along I was so that I could possibly get an abortion and started tearing up when I saw her on the ultrasound. I have never believed in abortions and feel so blessed to experience motherhood this many times. I look at my daughter and thank God for blessing me with her and I could never imagine my life without her! My husband didn’t react too well with this 6th surprise. He called me to tell me that he’s just stressed on how things will be for me if something happens to him. Whatever decision I make is mine. After finding this blog I need to stick to my beliefs and keep this precious blessing! You have all experienced the negative comments I have from family, friends and strangers alike. After getting pregnant with my 3rd child my husbands relatives started telling me not to have anymore because it’s so wrong to have more than 2 and they would joke and call me a manufacturing facility. A friend told me that next time they tell me that I should say I have a damn good production. When the women in his family used to talk to each other they would say if they could have more kids they would, but they had to work or were always in the hospital with difficult pregnancies. I just rambled on didn’t I????? LOL

  74. I love that ::Not an “accident” but a “surprise” – I’m going to have to borrow this! I have five boys now and little Arthur is just beautiful, To not have him in our lives would be unthinkable. Like you, to see the wee thing on the ultrasound makes it all real and tugs at your heartstrings. I knew I truly wanted my baby, no matter what. People can talk if they like, we are always judged by others no matter what we do! It must help pass the time for some people!

  75. Thank you i needed to read this! found out i am pregnant with my 5th and still in shock your artical warmed my heart, you speake the truth and gave me encoragment. Godbless.

  76. Thanks for writing this. I’m pregnant with our fifth (both my husband and i are excited) and because of the attitude I sometimes sense around us, I searched the Internet for some sort of positive encouragement and have found it in this article–all babies, even a fifth child deserves to be celebrated.

  77. This was an awesome article!! I’m pregnant with my 6th (my husband and I currently have 7 children, but this is our first together.) We haven’t told anyone yet, and I’m honestly not looking forward to what will be said (don’t you know what causes that? or AGAIN?!?)

  78. This made me cry. Im 25 & expecting my fourth (8 weeks) and money is already tight and I feel every one is kind of annoyed with thw fact im pregnant and they think im crazy. But i pray and feel so humbled knowing God sent this one for a reason. Im excited as I was with my first and feeling very emotional with all the mixed feeling coming from all ways possible. But remembering that this pregnancy can be just as special just as warm and just as fun 🙂 thanks for this post of encouragement.

  79. This was a beautiful article. My husband and I have been contemplating having a 4th child, we have a 5, 3, and 14month. We are both excited about the idea but I am nervous regarding our ability to manage our growing family. Why we are nervous i am not sure… maybe it is like you said breaking from the norm of 1-2 children, having no friends in the same boat as me, worried about what my mother and sister will think! In the end I now we are going to have our 4th little bundle of joy if all our stars align. I really appreciated your simplicity and encouragement to us moms that want large families and every baby is as special as the first.

  80. Beautiful 🙂 really cheered me up. I’m expecting my fourth any day now and the responses from others can really get you down.

  81. Thank you so much for writing this 🙂 I am sitting here crying with (maybe) pregnancy hormones because there’s a good chance I’m pregnant with our sixth child. I literally googled “is 34 too old to have your sixth child?” to find it because I’m so worried that I won’t be able to physically/psychologically do this again. I have a teenager! If we are expecting again, I’ve already decided not to tell anyone who was unkind last time we had a baby. It’s not worth upsetting myself with negativity. Besides, I DID want a large family so who cares what other people think?

  82. I just found out that I am pregnant with baby number 4 and after a comment from my own sister saying “so did you get pregnant on purpose?”… Really had me feeling down.. I’m so happy I found your blog it made me feel a lot better. I believe children are a blessing and if God wants to bless me with 10 I’ll gladly accept my blessings.. So glad to hear other people in the same boat as me and that having 4 children will be hard but not impossible.

  83. Thank you! Just found out we are expecting #5. I share many of the same emotions as you all and I am comforted to hear your thoughts.

  84. Hi my name is Jatara. I am a mother of 5,married and possibly expecting a 6th child. I am very nervous excited and anxious all at the same time. My husband is very excited as he wants a big family. Not sure why I’m so afraid this time especially because we were TTC. Were just waiting a few more days for a positive test! Idont have much of an appetite right now and no food sounds exciting. Any advice on what to do this didn’t happen with my other children this early??

  85. So glad I found your blog!! I am currently pregnant with my 5th due July 2015 and my oldest is 14!! Unexpected for sure but blessed beyond measure. We found out this was a twin pregnancy but one stopped developing so we have a singleton I am yet to tell the whole world because of reactions we know we will get, oh well. Thanks for the blog and encouraging words we are excited for sure.

  86. Oh thank you so much, I really needed to read your post. Everything you said completely resonated with me. I am 16 weeks pregnant with our 6th and I am experiencing such an emotional roller coaster about it. I’m sick and tired of the snarky remarks like you mentioned above (been getting them since pregnancy 4 as well) and annoyed that my newer friend is begging to throw me a shower I don’t want. My sister is expecting her first the same week and I’ve spent this entire pregnancy trying not to overshadow her (I was passing off useless baby items new moms don’t know are pointless to her the entire first trimester before I told her). This wasn’t planned, my husband is a stay at home dad, I work full time at a large corporation but in a role that doesn’t pay much, I’m in the military in a reserve capacity, and I’m in grad school… God what are you thinking?

  87. I’m so glad I found this. I’m about 7 weeks pregnant with baby #5 (pregnancy #6), and we are getting ready to announce and I’m mixed about announcing it. This baby was planned, but #4 was a surprise during a devastatingly difficult financial time for us and I hid that pregnancy for months. We didn’t announce with her until 26 weeks, and people were so hurt that we felt we had to hide it and that we expected them to be unsupportive that we didn’t get a single negative comment. But we shall see if that attitude carries over to this pregnancy, lol. I’m betting we will have some nay Sayers, but after what I put myself through last time, I refuse to care. In fact, I can’t wait for the first, “don’t you know what causes that?” (Which we got with our third) because I’ll reply, “yes, don’t you? I can draw a diagram for you.”

    Anyway, keep your heads up mamas. These babies are people. Little people. Each and every one unique, and a blessing. It took me way too long to get my head up with our fourth baby and she ended up being a preemie with a super dramatic birth, which I think was her way of saying, “hey..don’t forget about ME.” Lesson learned, my baby.

  88. Hi. I found your site and was thrilled. I am pregnant with my sixth baby with less than a month to go. I have 3 girls and this will be my third boy. I feel really blessed but i agree with what you say. People come up to me and feel as if it is their right to question me and i have even had doctors blame my husband and that some how he is forcing me to have all these kids. I hold my ground but feel completely battered by it. Just yesterday i made a big trip to buy the things i needed for my birthing bag and was hurting from the weight and had all 5 kids with me a man went past and called me scum… the thing is it seems to be happening more and more and i dont feel like going out as i have been attacked in front of my kids and i dont want them to see and hear this language… but it makes me feel guilty that the kids dont get to go out as much as is good for them. My biggest problem is how to tell my parents that i am pregnant AGAIN (yes i am extremely big and there is no hiding it but they dont like to see me as they dont like that i had more than 2) i am married and all the kids are my husbands no marital problems and he works. I am so worried about telling them as they already wanted to get sterilised and when i refused they stopped talking to me. I am at the point of wanting to run away rather than face them especially as they may take it badly that i have left it so long. 😦

  89. I just found out that I am pregnant with my 5th child yesterday. So I did a Google search “pregnant with 5th baby and afraid to tell people” and this blog popped up! I am so glad that it did and I took the time to read it and all of the comments. Now I feel like I am not alone and I can stand up for myself and my family if anyone makes any remarks about how many children I have. I never pictured myself having 5 children, but I couldn’t be happier. Although this is my number 5, it will be my husbands 2nd, and I feel blessed that I am able to give him children because he is such a good father. I don’t know what the future has in store for us, but we know that as long as we have faith, anything is possible and God would never give us anything that we cannot handle.

  90. Hi to all you lovely ladies out there! Just wanted to say that I posted a comment on here nearly 3 years ago – CAN’T believe it is that long! – about being so worried about having my fifth child. Well, everything turned out brilliant…don’t know why I was so anxious! Yes, I was dreadfully tired, sick and the labour was a wee bit protracted..contractions didn’t really kick in strongly and dragged on all night! I think my womb was plain tired..trying to tell me “don’t do this anymore -i’m pooped!”. Anyway , thankfully I gave birth naturally and he was so perfect and healthy I just couldn’t ask for more, he’s such a cutie pie and I absolutely could not for one moment imagine our family without him. He is a treasure and I wish I could pop back in time and give my pregnant self a little shake and say ” look, do the best you can, eat well, rest well and ignore those who are not happy you are having another baby. Because you are not doing it for them, you are doing it for him… the most precious little being in the world! You are doing the best you can, that is all you can do.Now get those feet up, have another cheese and carrot sandwich and be thankful: everything will be fine!”

  91. Hi, I’m 5weeks pregnant with my fifth child. My kids ages are 8, 4, 2, and 6 months.I was on the pill when I got pregnant this time. But my dilemma is that I’m pregnant with my 5th child by my 4 and 2 yr olds father, plus he’s married, now he wants me to get an abortion but I’m against it. Im so upset with myself right now because I knew better, but things happen and the consequences behind them could be devastating, and life changing! Im really, really, against abortion but he wants it done like asap! I have a appointment tomorrow. Can someone please give me some good advice on what they think I should do. I know what my heart is telling me to do, (and its not abortion) Im just seeking some friendy advice from others! I’m stuck right now!!!! I don’t want to do something I’d regret, because every time I think about aborting this child I cry. My heart is so heavy right now!

  92. Thankyou for your post! I have 4 kids, and I desperately want another one! The idea of never getting to feel a baby inside me again terrifies me!

    But I am scared! I have 4 very healthy happy kids, no pregnancy issues, no health issues! And I am worried that I am “pushing my luck” for lack of a better word…
    I am terrified that the more kids I have the more I am increasing the risk of
    Something going wrong. Of losing one of my kids…it’s an terrifying and haunting thought and I just don’t know how to push past it! Does anyone have any advice??

  93. Alex I have 6 beautiful babies. I lost my first and third pregnancies and then 3 last year. No health issues, no pain relief, easy straight forward pregnancies and labours for the 6 that I have. Every pregnancy is a risk. There is never anyway to be certain of a pregnancy outcome. If you want to have another beautiful bub, don’t let fear stop you.

  94. I have three kids lost one in March and am now carrying my fifrh. My mother in law and me still don’t get along. Mind you I am 10 weeks along and her reaction to my fourth when I lost it was, ” if this is a termination you don’t need anymore” or something along those lines. She never seems happy with me at all even after I started working 40 hours a week or more. I take care of my children cause they are my heart and soul. So how do I tell her without getting a lecture plus me and my fiance live with her. I just don’t know how to tell her with out a bad reaction.

  95. “So the news that you are pregnant may be getting old to some, but that doesn’t mean that the child is any less precious. Not to you, and not to God.”

    I found this line to be very inspiring. Just what I needed. Thanks for a beautiful post. I just found out we are expecting number five. ♥

  96. I know it’s an old blog but it’s great!
    Love this and as above they don’t lose value the more you have
    I am having number 6 (will be 6 in 7yrs and under)
    and have hidden it from everyone except my husband Ofcorse, even when I am asked (I don’t know why the hell some people think it’s ok to ask!) and when I tell everyone probably at 5 months when they reply (because I know they will) with why didn’t you say yes when I asked you I will tell them straight”because I was absolutely over the moon why would I rush to tell everyone so they can rain on my happiness”

  97. Read one comment about being told to get an abortion because they were having a fifth how could anyone suggest that to someone!!!
    No my parents will not be happy that me and my husband are having our sixth! But atleast I wont be advised to get an abortion! Even when my sister fell pregnant at 19 with very strict parents that were very upset but never ever expected or hinted an abortion.
    I know alot of heartless rude people in our family who constantly make horribly mean and snarky comments about my pregnancies like ‘I feel sorry for you your body will be ruined now for good after four’ or ‘don’t you know what contraception is’ this one from my sister who has used contraception for a total of 6months Her whole marriage people get jelious and want to bring you down, but not this time I am enjoying my pregnancy so far as I decided there was no need to rush to announce it to anyone unlike last year when I felt obligated to get it out there and over with I relize now, it’s my baby my life my news if my stomach is huge and I still haven’t told you get over it why would I tell you when your not happy for me the last few times.

  98. I had to giggle abit when reading this! Definitely mixed emotions for me as I found out I am pregnant with our 4th today. We already have 2 girls 4 & 2 and a boy who is just over 1! Not exactly unplanned but still a pleasant ‘surprise’. My most fear is others reactions.. the fact that I’m 24 and a sahm (my partner works full time) and basically not doing much for my life. Although I have plenty more years to come, I hope I can become something more than a Mother. Thankyou for this blog!!! I enjoyed reading it

  99. Wow, all you mamas of 4 and more! You are warriors, and your little ones are blessed to have you 🙂 I have just two, and my husband and I strongly feel that we are done (we adore our babies, but neither have been “easy” – if there even is such a thing – and we know we are operating at full capacity!). So when I hear of large families I am always a little in awe. If this has ever come across as disapproval, I sincerely apologize – your dear infants are all blessings and the world is brighter for them being in it. If anything I am a little jealous of your ability to cope with a large clan. It must be awful to feel judgement when you share the news of the precious life you are carrying. Perhaps, like me, many just can’t imagine being such rocking good mums as you! Don’t let anyone make you feel shame or dismay over that little person; you are their strongest advocate, and their life is cherished and worthy regardless of how many have gone before.

  100. Since I commented here two years ago, I DID have my sixth child and he is a blessing! I have learned that other people’s opinions don’t matter and I’m hoping now to blessed with baby #7, God (and my uterus!) willing!

  101. Trendolyn Dickerson August 29, 2010 at 6:31 pm
    Hi am pregnant with number 5 (had one miscarriage so baby makes 5) anyway this is the second my husband and I have together …. when baby comes we will have six children collectively….. I haven’t felt at all attached to the baby girl I am carrying and I am due to deliver in about 9 days…. I have scheduled c-section. I am scareed and I feel alone and afraid…. this pregnancy wasn’t planned and it came at a time when my marriage is in a horrible place and both my husband and I are unemployed…. this only adds to the stress of adding another baby….. I struggle with the day to day struggles of having 4 in my care constantly ranging in age from 14 boy, 13 boy, 12 boy, 5 girl and one stepson 11…… I don’t believe in abortion so that wasn’t an option. I just feel so dejected and out of it with this pregnancy and I am about to deliver…. How will we ever bond….. I get stared at and have no support from my husband and I cry most days…. I pray daily and am thankful for this blog it was uplifting as were most of the comments that I read. I may come back and comment after delivery and such and update things. Thanks again for the blog.

    update (Nearly 7 years later)

    I am overjoyed at the relationship my daughter and I have. She is a beautiful Ballerina and Gymnast. My oldest will be 21 in a week or so and my life is much better now. Not because everything is just right but truly because god make everything right. Things actually got way worse after I posted my original post. And are just now starting to turn around. My faith hope and trust are in Christ Jesus. I still cry but I don’t complain I PRoclaim HIs goodness and rest in the finished work. I hope everyone needing to hear an update reads this and finds strength.


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